Wedding ceremony, Sjamanistisk Forbund
A wedding ceremony in Sjamanistisk Forbund unfolds in two parts. First a preparatory ceremony for the chosen ones in collaboration with the forstander, carried out ahead of the wedding. Then comes the wedding ceremony itself, carried out on the wedding day.
Preparatory ceremony:
Ahead of this, the couple has been given the task of writing a personal speech to each other. Furthermore, the couple is to draw up the seven-step vows for the wedding ceremony itself.
This preparatory ceremony has two parts: a practical and a ceremonial part.
Practical:
- Review of the wedding ceremony
- Review of the legal papers, including the certificate of no impediment
** Ceremonial: **
- Reading of a poem
The Journey
The journey of love, it is called. We are all on our way. We are all heading towards something, and also away from something.
The journey of love. – Where are you heading? Shall we walk together?
My journey of love is not over. But I am well under way. I have begun, and I have found a direction.
– Wait, you say. – I want to come along. I want to walk the same way.
Yes, you can do that, if you wish. You can let yourself be inspired. But it will not be quite the same journey, for we are different. We are all different. That is important to know.
But you, my friend! – Follow your heart!
The journey of the heart has begun for you too. Your heart beats and beats. It will show you the way!
– Geir Ålien
- Drum journey
- The couple gives their personal speech to each other with the forstander as witness
- Make a braid together to be used in the wedding ceremony: This braid is to contain hair from the bride and the groom, woollen thread, silver thread, plus optionally other personal things that symbolise their friendship and love relationship
Wedding ceremony:
- Prelude
- Procession
- Welcome
- Cleansing
- Calling in the 7 directions
- Bride and groom vow
- Lighting the fire
- 7-step ceremony
- Braid ceremony
- Blessing of the rings
- Closing prayer
- Declaration of marriage
Prelude: Free choice of music or some other way to mark that the wedding ceremony is beginning.
Procession: Traditional: The groom and best man come, followed by any bridesmaids/page boys, then the bride's witness, and finally the bride.
Welcome: The forstander welcomes the couple/wedding party and the rest of the company to the shamanic wedding ceremony.
Cleansing: Cleanse the wedding party with sage or using eagle/condor feathers or a feather fan. Feel free to compose your own incense blend. (The wedding party stands in a circle with the couple's faces turned towards the east. Begin the cleansing with the bride, then the groom, the bride's witness and the groom's witness, then continue with any others in the party.)
Call in the 7 directions: Face the directions as they are called in. Hold out your arms towards the direction and use a rattle to call the attention of the powers in each direction.
East: Bless this union between (name of bride and groom) with the gifts of the east, the place on the wheel of life where we enter into this world, with openness and breath, the communication of the heart and the purity of soul and body. From the east you receive the gift of a new beginning with the rising of each sunrise and the understanding that each day is a new opportunity for growth and possibility.
South: Bless this union between (name of bride and groom) with the gifts of the south, where the sun stands at its highest point in the sky and is the element of fire and represents energy, passion, creativity and the warmth of a loving home. From the inner fire you generate light that you shall share with each other, even in the darkest times.
West: Bless this union between (name of bride and groom) with the gifts of the west, the direction of courage and power. In marriage you give absolute trust to each other and a promise to keep your hearts open in difficult times as in good days.
North: Bless this union between (name of bride and groom) with the gifts of the north, with your spirit and the vision of times to come. The elements are the celestial bodies, moon and stars that speak to us on our eternal shared journey. Blessed be that you hear the guidance of your ancestors and spirit helpers.
Mother Earth: Bless this union between (name of bride and groom) with Mother Earth's elements, which give us nourishment, fertility and security. Mother Earth will feed you and enrich you, help you to build a stable home, where you can always return.
The Creative Power, you are known by many names. Bless this couple in their commitment of love as they come together in mind, body and spirit.
For the 7th direction: the direction within your heart, your soul, your spirit. (name of bride and groom) I give you both holy water in your hands to honour your spirit, your love that has brought you here today. May your love and happiness grow like the sweetness in this holy water. Breathe in the sweetness of this moment.
- Pour a few drops of the holy water into the couple's hands. The couple rub their hands together, then clap three times to be blessed by the three worlds (the upper world, the lower world and this world). Then they place their right hand on each other's hearts.
The bride and groom say the following to each other:
Groom: (name of bride) I place my breath to your breath, so that our days will last long on earth, so that the days of our people will last long and that we will get to complete our paths together. May Mother Earth bless us with life and bless our children. May our father bless us with creativity and vision. May our life paths be fulfilled.
Bride: (name of groom) I place my breath to your breath, so that our days will last long on earth, so that the days of our people will last long and that we will get to complete our paths together. May Mother Earth bless us with life and bless our children. May our father bless us with creativity and vision. May our life paths be fulfilled.
Light the sacred fire: A fire bowl or fire pit is prepared and lit by the couple in front of the wedding company.
The 7-step circle: The bride and groom have written their vows in advance for each of the 7 steps they walk around the fire, with the sun, while holding a metal ring. For each step they take, a vow is spoken by each of them. The groom takes the first step and then speaks his vow, the bride follows and does the same, until all 7 steps have been taken.
Example of vows:
Step 1: NN: Now and forever we shall share the role of maintaining a positive, patient and loving space for our family.
N: This is my commitment to you. Together we shall create a positive, patient and loving atmosphere in our home and family. May the creator bless you.
Step 2: NN: Now we have come to step 2. I shall love you alone as my wife. I will fill your heart with strength and courage. May the creator bless us in our vows to each other.
N: I too will fill your heart with strength and courage. May the creator bless us in our vows to each other.
Step 3: NN: Now we have walked 3 steps together. Our creativity and commitment shall grow together with us. May we raise our children well and may they live long. May the creator bless you.
N: I love you, and you alone as my husband. I will henceforth treat all other men as my brothers. I will love you forever, this is my commitment to you.
Step 4: NN: It is a blessing that we have now taken the fourth step together. You have brought something sacred into my life, may the creator bless you.
N: In all that life will give us, I promise to be compassionate and to love you through everything.
Step 5: NN: We have now come to the fifth step. May the creative power let us live consciously all through life. May the creative power bless you.
N: I will always take part in both your joys and your sorrows. Your love makes me happy.
Step 6: NN: By walking six steps together, you have brought me great happiness. I shall fill your heart with love, light and peace, again and again. May the creative power bless you.
N: The creative power blesses you. May I fill your heart with love, light and peace. I promise that I will always be with you.
Step 7: NN: My love, now that you have walked the seven steps with me, our love and commitment will have become stronger and inseparable. We have now experienced a spiritual union. I give myself completely and wholly to you. May our marriage last forever.
N: By the law of the creative power and the ancestors, I am now your wife. All the vows I have given you, I have given with a pure and joyful heart. All the spirits are witnesses to our union. I will be here for you. I will love you.
Optional: The witnesses give the couple a wedding blanket/cloth and a wedding vase filled with water, from which both bride and groom drink.
Burying the braid under a tree, along with questions from the forstander Beforehand, the couple has made a braid with each other's hair, woollen thread, silver thread and things that symbolise the friendship and love relationship between them.
Consecrate the braid by sweeping water with it over the couple, beginning with the head, down to the heart, arms, belly, legs and feet. Forstander: Will you, NN, enter into marriage with N and take him/her as your spouse? NN: "Yes". Forstander: Will you, N, enter into marriage with NN and take him/her as your spouse? N: "Yes". The forstander holds up the braid: This is a symbol of your shared future, which I hand over to Mother Earth for her blessing. May she give you of her abundance. The braid is buried.
Blessing of the rings: Forstander: You have now taken the 7-step circle and now the time has come to give each other the rings that represent the 7 steps. The circle of the rings also represents the symbol of the sun, the earth, the universe, wholeness, perfection, peace and union. Like circles, your rings have no beginning and no end. They are proof of the growing relationship that you have come here to confirm and celebrate.
- The bride and groom exchange rings while they may say something from the heart if they wish.
Forstander: Love given freely has no beginning and no end. May these rings always remind you of the vows you have given here and that we have witnessed.
- The forstander blesses the couple with the eagle feather by placing it on each head, heart, belly and on the ring hand with which they hold each other.
Gathering the ancestors' blessing The forstander journeys to the ancestors' village to fetch a blessing from them. The forstander says a few words from the ancestors.
Declaration of marriage: Forstander: And now, having heard the vows entered into between (name of the couple), witnessed by friends, family, the ancestors, Mother Earth, all the powers in the cardinal directions and our creator, it is our great joy to declare (name of the couple) lawfully wedded.
